Do affairs ‘just happen’?

Affairs popped up in the national conversation during the election, and honesty — who doesn’t like a good open discussion about the dishonesty of infidelity?

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, who is being considered by President-elect Donald Trump as Secretary of State, had suggested in a conversation slamming Hillary Clinton about Bill Clinton’s affairs that “everybody” commits infidelityaffairs

That was an interesting comment coming from the party of “family values” (or maybe that’s just how you feel because, you know, you yourself have fooled around).

In any event, saying “everybody” cheats seems to be a stretch; while it’s hard to get an exact number of people who are cheating because it’s all self-reported (and you have to think that those who are lying to their spouse are probably not going to be totally honest when it comes to a poll on infidelity), some studies indicate it’s about 20 percent of married couples while others suggest it may be as high as 60 percent to 70 percent. Not everybody, but a lot nonetheless.

Which is why therapists like Esther Perel, author of Mating In Captivity, and Tammy Nelson, author of The New Monogamy, suggest it’s time to rethink infidelity.

People cheat for all sorts of reasons. And we know that a certain percentage of people who engage in infidelity say they have happy marriages. Still, it would be interesting to know how some affairs start. Thankfully, a new study looks at exactly that.

According to the study, there were a few things going on leading up to an affair — and some surprising reactions after.

Read the rest here.

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