Letting go of a bad marriage is a good thing

I know it’s hard to let go of certain people — especially if you love them, if you are married to him opr her, and if you made a vow to be together “until death do us part.” But things happen. People change. Circumstances change. Feelings change.

If you have ever left (or are now leaving) a relationship because your mate is toxic, addicted, immature, mentally ill, or just not the right fit for you, you probably appreciate the saying, “When the wrong people leave your life the right things start to happen.”  SmellingRose

If you are being left by someone you love and you don’t understand and you’re hurt, angry and feeling completely rejected, you may read this and feel worse. But here’s what I know for a fact: There will come a day when you will understand why this had to happen.

Perhaps you didn’t realize how unhappy or unhealthy your relationship had become; maybe your life needed to take this new direction so that you could get the career or neighborhood of your dreams; or a certain amazing and much better-suited person couldn’t have come into your purview if you hadn’t gotten out of your comfort zone.

Did it ever occur to you that there is a bigger picture that you aren’t privy to? Maybe you’re being called to do service somewhere else. Maybe it’s not really a bad thing in the end.

One woman I worked with several years ago who had been a stay-at-home mom and part time artist. About six months ago, I was listening to my car radio and I heard her name as the next guest they were going to interview. What a nice surprise. After listening, I contacted her and found out that not only is she thriving post-divorce (a messy awful divorce that wreaked havoc on her and her kids), but she has gone on to have a killer career. She is well-known in the San Francisco art world, and she’s schmoozing with some big name people and doing a wonderful service for the community.

I see this happen all the time, especially for those who believe it can happen.

The moral? Stay strong and carry on. Trust that when one thing ends, new opportunities arise. You will feel better again in time.

This post was first published by Susan Pease Gadoua on her PsychologyToday.com Contemplating Divorce blog on July 18,2014. “It’s Okay to Let Go”

 

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